Taraki have been awarded a grant to co-develop the Cha in the City peer support spaces for Punjabi men. This blog is a special piece written by a facilitator we have trained: Arjen.
To appreciate the distance covered on my taraki [progress] so far: you have to briefly understand who I was at the start of January 2024. I was trying to unravel years of mental trauma as a result of being different, and the absence of healthy coping mechanisms formed physiological knots which entrapped me further. Any attempt to overcome it in isolation, felt like hot-wiring a car that is submerged beneath a cold, murky lake.
Signing up to take facilitation training was a massive step that felt unconquerable, and this cannot be overstated. It was the difference between social isolation, and social inclusion. I understood that I needed consistent exposure to healthy social interactions to heal, but the risk in taking this leap when you are submerged by years of internalising negative beliefs — cannot, be overstated.
Armed with a brutal mental feedback loop: one or two more negative events would’ve been enough to never try again.
In the months prior to joining Taraki: I had indeed taken that leap completely alone, trying to form new relationships with nothing to ground me. It was just two weeks prior to the first Taraki facilitation session, that I had experienced a distressing event which had comprehensively dismantled the work I had done to build myself back up, reaffirming the negative pattern I had learned of society.
Still, I followed through with participation, and I slowly gained the consistent healthy exposure I was needing so badly. And while it took a good year for me to fully open up with my facilitation group: it was a natural pace of the process in learning and internalising new thought patterns. Now, the group has become a core part of my life, and in the process I have gained the ability to support others in this domain using a structured facilitation framework.
There were a few key catalysts of my recovery:
I was allowed to train as a facilitator, despite struggling myself. Taraki didn’t expect me to be a ready-made leader; it only expected a commitment to the cause.
The training sessions were designed to bring out the best and varying traits among all of us; there was never a strictly defined archetype, other than being compassionate.
On the last point: the way this has manifested in our group is beautiful. Some are gifted at leading the sessions, while others have found a place in keeping the conversation going with humour or insightful questions. For me: I discovered that my ability to hold multiple truths was valuable for drawing on the points others had made, and uncovering new insights using my own vivid lens.
Being someone who has encountered mostly negative beliefs about being quiet, discovering that my natural state of quiet thoughtfulness improved the conversation was empowering to the effect of combating the negative, self-limiting beliefs I had of myself and of my usefulness to society.
The effect has been so significant, that even despite having a brutal year on paper: it has been the year I have been most resilient and able to face adversity head-on. Even more than that: I have been able to build deep, meaningful relationships (both within and beyond Taraki) which are giving me the ignition to pursue projects that require networking and posting on social media — things which seemed so impossible due to developing years-long phobias, so I never tried.
Until now.
