Taraki Punjabi Women's Forum reunited in April 2025 for a workshop on Navigating Breakups and Divorce.
The Taraki Women’s Forum met on Tuesday 29th July to discuss the topic of divorce and breakups; several women attended to share their experiences.
Relationships coming to an end often come with an added layer of cultural, emotional, and societal complexity. Through our conversations throughout the forum, there was agreement between the group that life doesn’t always unfold in a straight line, we have the strength to keep going.
The end of a marriage or long-term relationship is not just the end of a partnership; it often feels like the end of an identity for some. For many Punjabi women, there’s a deeply internalised sense of shame tied to divorce. Some have shared feelings like they were suddenly “no good,” as if their worth disappeared when their marriage did. In communities where marriage is sacred, the dissolution of a relationship can feel like a public failure, and that sense of being "knocked back" or dismissed can linger for years.
Women who joined the forum shared that intercultural marriages sometimes face even more tension. Navigating the expectations of two cultures, managing judgment from both, and being told—explicitly or implicitly—that the end of a marriage means the end of your value as a woman is a heavy burden to carry. On top of grieving a partner, many women describe a parallel grief: mourning the version of themselves they once were, and the dreams they thought they were building. And for mothers, there’s the added pressure of staying strong for your children while silently wrestling with guilt, shame, and fear.
It’s taken decades of uncomfortable conversations, brave first steps, and countless women choosing to prioritise their peace for things to begin shifting. Divorce is no longer the taboo it once was. Interracial and intercultural marriages are increasingly normalised. And crucially, people are talking—about relationships, about boundaries, about how they want to raise their children, and about what a healthy marriage looks like.
There’s also been a shift in when and how people marry. More people are marrying later, after having the chance to grow into themselves. That maturity makes space for honest, practical conversations before marriage—conversations that many of our mothers or grandmothers were never allowed to have.
Even so, change takes time. While some of us can leave unhealthy or unsupported relationships earlier, others still feel trapped by fear, judgment, or cultural conditioning. The work continues—both within ourselves and in our communities. One of the most powerful reminders from women who’ve come through the storm is that healing isn’t a solo journey.
Here are some real strategies that have helped:
- Nervous system healing: One of the facilitators mentioned nervous system work—an approach that helped her reconnect to her body, manage stress, and slowly move out of survival mode.
- Feel your feelings: Numbness is common, but so is sadness, anger, and fear. These are all normal. Good anger can move us into action. Allowing space for emotion helps us heal.
- Community support: A simple but powerful tool? A WhatsApp group. Some women have created divorce support chats where they offer advice, love, encouragement, or just a listening ear. It’s one place to ask for help—and that alone makes a huge difference.
- Redefine your self-worth: Breakups often launch us into deep self-worth work. That journey is hard—but remembering who you are, outside of any relationship, is life-changing.
- Self-care is essential: This isn’t just bubble baths and candles. It’s support systems, nourishment, boundaries, and rest. It’s survival because some days, that’s all you can do and there isn’t anything wrong with this.
- Write your own definition of life: Society doesn’t get to tell you who you are. Not anymore. Reclaiming your voice, your choices, and your joy is the most radical and a beautiful act of self-love.
Life isn’t linear, just know that you're not broken, you're not alone, and you are deeply worthy of love, respect, and happiness—just the way you are. Sometimes, it knocks us down hard. But Punjabi women are showing every day that healing is possible and so is joy. Divorce doesn't define your worth. You do.
You can sign up to future forums here.
